City : Enterprise Road : Bouncing Back
Failure is just feedback
OK so failure happened and the nasty emotion of failure feels real, but so what? – That moment is gone, you are now reading this – the most important thing is you learnt something – The uncomfortable, yucky feeling has passed.
Spend a little time thinking about what went wrong and how best you can begin again with the new knowledge.
You do not have to brood, or dwell on rejection and feel upset or angry.
There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or to accept the responsibility for changing them.
You are only ever one thought away from a better thought.
Here is a thought: There is no such thing as failure; only feedback.
Watch a small child, a toddler – when they take their first steps they always fall down – People do not put the youngster back in the cot and say ‘never mind – he is not a walker!’ – Toddlers and people are resilient; they keep going, despite falling.
The only person who failed is the person who never tried anything new.
You will not get anywhere if you give up; the people who bounce back quickly achieve their goals faster. They have learnt to develop resilience strategies– and so can you!
Failure is not permanent and it does not define you.
Bouncing back - some inspiration
Bouncing back is about learning from and recovering from negative stuff.
Many successful people failed many times before they became successful.
Whenever you doubt yourself, remember the many inspirational stories below of transforming failure to success and fame by amazing people we all know and respect.
Colonel Sanders (KFC chicken) Went to over 1,000 places trying to sell his chicken recipe before he found a buyer interested in his 11 herbs and spices. Seven years later, at the age of 75, Colonel Sanders sold his fried chicken company for a finger-lickin' $15 million!
Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor for lack of ideas. Disney also went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland.
Katy Perry: the singer is the only person to have 5 number 1s from the same album.
Yet her first album only sold 100 copies and then the label went bust. Her 2nd album was never released. She was divorced after a year.
Eminem is the most successful rapper of all time. Even 50 cent wants to be as successful as Eminem. Yet Eminem was bullied and his father left when he was a baby. His uncle committed suicide. His first album didn’t make any money and his wife left him and wouldn’t let him see his daughter.
“I must be allergic to failure cause every time I come close to it
I just sneeze, but I just go achoo then achieve!”
Charles Darwin, father of the theory of evolution, gave up a medical career and was told by his father, "You care for nothing but shooting, dogs, and rat catching." In his autobiography, Darwin wrote, "I was considered by my father, a very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard in intellect.
Lionel Messi: is the highest paid and recognised as the world’s best football player.
Lionel grew up very poor and at 11 he was diagnosed with a growth hormone deficiency and as a result was very small. As a result of his height, he was told he would never make it as a footballer. Messi was signed up to River (Argentina’s top team) but they dropped him because they couldn’t afford his hospital bill. Messi had his limitations but he strived to overcome them. Barcelona saw Messi had talent and signed him and agreed to pay his medical bills.
LIONEL’S SUCCESS PRINCIPLES:
- Personal development of his talent
- Dedication and Focus
- Love for humanity
- His act of charity.
Some Thoughts that can help you bounce back
- Celebrate failure, it proves that you are learning, unfolding just as you should.
- See the failure for what it is (a moment that has passed) – not worse than it is.
- You can turn any failure or rejection to your advantage.
- Try to stop yourself from having negative thoughts - it damages your self-esteem and takes away your power to act. Negative thoughts make you less productive and less likely to succeed!
A resilient/positive way to look at life means you tell yourself:
- This may be hard, but I am learning something new every day, I will get there!
- With practice and help I can do it better next time.
- I am confident.
- I stick at things and keep going.
- I am good at thinking clearly.
- I handle anger well.
- I cope well when things change.
- I manage stress well.
- I can cope with pressure.
- I make decisions easily and things usually work out.
If you have problems with thinking positively and you cannot make yourself feel better try to get some help – check out the Motivation, Health and Well-being building to find out more about picking yourself up again from negative feelings!
Some actions that can help you bounce back
- Write down what you learnt. Write next to that what you can do differently next time.
- Get focused. Set a new goal, make an action plan and take action.
- Get clear on WHY you’re working towards your goals and what you’ll reward yourself with when you achieve your goals – post pictures of this near your computer so that you’re always reminded.
- Get what you want by taking small steps and positive actions
- Set SMART goals for yourself and make sure they are goals that will motivate you. Follow your own dream not what your parents, family, teachers or friends want from you
- Draw a picture of what you want, make it big, bold, colourful, bright and vivid – keep it in your room so you see it when you wake up every morning.
- Interview someone who has achieved success in the field you want to work in – ask how did they do it? – copy their strategies.
- See Feedback as your friend: In order to do better the next time, you need to know if there are areas you need to improve
- Learn to talk positively to yourself - We all talk to ourselves, but how you talk to yourself affects how you feel.
- Prepare - Preparation will make you feel more confident and you will know that you have done all you can to succeed.
- Create disciplined habits and routines - that are healthy and good for you and good for others.
- Focus on impressing yourself. - Be yourself
- Strive for progress rather than perfection
- Surround yourself with positive people – find a positive role model!
- Say so what! to failure – Never give up - keep going
- Give something up - Ask yourself: What emotions could you give up in order to bounce back from failure?
- The past is valuable: Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others. Then let it go.
- Celebrate the success of others - Resentment sucks up a massive amount of mental energy--energy better applied elsewhere.
- Never allow yourself to whine. (Or complain. Or criticise.) - Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems always makes you feel worse, not better.
- Maintain and enhance your skills and knowledge: Always keep learning. Practice and given time you will master new skills. A lot of people give up when they are so very close to success. Enjoy the process!
Face your fears!
Fear seems real but it is created by your imagination worrying about the future, your mind worrying about 'what if (xxxx insert worst fear xxxx) happens?' and by dwelling on past mistakes, the past is OVER the future has not happened yet - all you have is NOW so the fear is not real, it is something you created in your mind to avoid taking action right NOW, your reaction/response to your thoughts is in your control.
And yes – when it comes to starting your own project or business some fears might even come true, but always remember: If you don't have 'failures' you're probably not growing!
Look around you – at the people in your neighbourhood, on the bus or the train, or across the breakfast table – and realise you all have something in common. There isn’t a person alive who wasn’t picked last for a team, hasn't asked someone to a dance who said no, got rejected for a date, didn’t get cast in the play, or didn't get every job they interviewed for. And although rejection is sometimes hard to live through, the lessons we learn from it can be invaluable and position us for future success.
Successful people are great at overcoming fear in order to do what they need to do. Of course, that doesn't mean they aren't scared - that does mean they're brave.
When you feel uncomfortable (some people call that outside your comfort zone) you are learning, growing and stretching yourself, this is good as it means you are alive, you are human, you are living, if you are not growing you are……dying.
Will you fail again? Probably… and that is OK. You are human.
All through your life you will be learning and growing. Enjoy the process. Improvement, like life, is a marathon, not a sprint.
Bad stuff happens to everyone it is how you respond to the downs in life that matter.
And when you are back on track?
…make sure you make the best of your new start!
- Delay gratification! Successful people are great at delaying gratification - Do the hardest thing you need to do first and then reward yourself with some fun things.
- Minimise distractions - In this digital age it is easy to get distracted with social media or computer games. Make a plan and schedule time for work as well as for using your phone of computer for social or fun reasons!
- Get focused and be present: You can't be everywhere for everyone, every time. But it is important to be present when you are there. - There's nothing worse than someone who gives you their time but not their focus.
- Have fun - Make sure you are having FUN along the way and have defined a big enough reason WHY you are working towards your goal.
- Be productive!